You're only a real fashion blogger if...

You have pastel hair 

Source 

We fashion bloggers account for at least 80% of Bleach London's profit margin. Fact : Blondes do not have more fun than Aqua Marines.

You eat macaroons on a daily basis

Source 

And instagram them on a floral plate of some description with a coyly placed designer item or two in the corner.

You own a clear plastic clutch

Source

So you can showcase your white iPhone 5, Mac lipstick in Russian Red, a pair of reflective sunglasses and maybe a packet of macaroons to the whole world!

You have a cat

Source

Don't even ask me why, it's just a rule. Also make sure to put the phrase "cat lover" in your bios on blogger/tumblr/twitter/write it across your forehead in Sharpie.

Your only posts on Instagram contain the words "link in bio" 

My Instagram (@paigeoffashion)

Or "new on the blog" for that matter.

You have nightmares about HTML

Source

Need I explain myself?

You have a boyfriend that is a professional photographer 

Source

Because let's be honest, you could never get that result with a tripod and your iPhone. The only other profession acceptable for a fashion blogger's significant other is perhaps a Parisian baker that has a steady supply of macaroons.

You understand and practice the art that is #fblogger language

"Just got my photographer bf to take a picture of me on the frow in my diffusion line co-ord. Totes uploading this to insta ... #lfw #AW14 #OOTD #eek"

You have forgotten how to look at the camera when having your picture taken

Source: Own OOTD

It gives a mysterious look to your pictures, right? Plus, it hides uneven eyeliner.

You find "fashpiration" literally everywhere 

Oh a lampost with an artsy sticker on it *picture*! Mildly inspirational, occasionally offensive graffitti *picture*! Old book *picture*! Dog turd *picture*!

You purposely buy a few more items so that you can title a post "haul" 

and if you can't buy more then you add the word "mini" to the beginning of the title and all is good again.

You have holes in your jeans 

Another picture from my Instagram...

because fabric that is not distressed is not fashion blogger enough

So if you don't do all these things, please kindly remove yourself from the world of fashion blogging. You can't sit with us.

Bethany Paige X

Disclaimer: I'm sure you've all realised already, but this post was written with as many doses of sarcasm as there are macaroons in the blogging world (and as we've established, that's a lot). 

March in magazines

I hope March was a beautiful month for you all (shall we ignore the fact that we're 9 days into April?) and was full of magazines to match!

Bethany Paige X

Giveaway: Mac Lipstick of your choice!

Since the day that I got a job I vowed to myself several things - To buy a pair of black boots with my first payslip, to buy books as and when I want and to do a blog giveaway. In February I bought a pair of black, faux crocodile skin boots, I have acquired at least fifteen books over the past few months and within this blog post I plan on addressing my third promise - and probably the most exciting of all - I will be doing a blog giveaway!

I pondered over the different types of things I could offer my beautiful followers for quite some time, putting myself in your shoes in terms of what I as a blogger would love to win. I didn't want to pick something extremely personal to me, like a piece of jewellery I chose, but I also didn't want it to be more impersonal like some form of giftcard. So I decided on what I see as a (very) happy medium. The lucky winner of this giveaway will get a Mac Lipstick (here) but in whatever colour they desire. 

Just four of your many options! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The giveaway will end on May 4th 2014 and is open to anybody within the UK.

Good luck; I wish my waitress work wages could buy a lipstick for every single one of you!

Bethany Paige X

A side note - Any entries that are extremely impersonal (for example done through the use of accounts made to enter competitions) will be disregarded. 

Killer shoes

Looking at these Topshop skaters, you would think they would be fairly comfortable. For one thing they're flat and for another they have a nice thick rubber sole. Well, you would be mistaken. These slip-ons are far from comfortable and actually feel as though they may have been manufactured as a form of torture. Oh, how I wish I was exaggerating. Unfortunately I'm not and I am in fact currently wearing them with a pair of bed socks in attempts to get them to stretch a little and not be so murderous to my toes!

In buying them I thought I was being sensible for once not choosing skyscraper black boots. Alas, it seems I am naturally wired to purchase the most uncomfortable shoes possible, even when not intentionally so. The problem is, I assumed they would wear in so I decided not to send them back for the size up. This was my second mistake.

But they are beautiful.

Not just beautiful but bordering on divine aesthetically. They literally tick off every box, except comfort - slip-on, black, snakeskin and just the right mix of shiny and matte. They found their way into my online basket because I could see them with rolled and ripped jeans, mini skirts, midi skirts, maxi skirts and practically everything in between. So you can imagine why I was more than slightly disheartened when I couldn't start wearing them to death as soon as they arrived.

Never fear though, I will persevere - that is the fashion blogger way after all - until I can wear them with ease.

Bethany Paige X