You eat macaroons on a daily basis
And instagram them on a floral plate of some description with a coyly placed designer item or two in the corner.
You own a clear plastic clutch
So you can showcase your white iPhone 5, Mac lipstick in Russian Red, a pair of reflective sunglasses and maybe a packet of macaroons to the whole world!
You have a cat
Don't even ask me why, it's just a rule. Also make sure to put the phrase "cat lover" in your bios on blogger/tumblr/twitter/write it across your forehead in Sharpie.
Your only posts on Instagram contain the words "link in bio"
My Instagram (@paigeoffashion)
You have nightmares about HTML
Need I explain myself?
You have a boyfriend that is a professional photographer
Because let's be honest, you could never get that result with a tripod and your iPhone. The only other profession acceptable for a fashion blogger's significant other is perhaps a Parisian baker that has a steady supply of macaroons.
You understand and practice the art that is #fblogger language
"Just got my photographer bf to take a picture of me on the frow in my diffusion line co-ord. Totes uploading this to insta ... #lfw #AW14 #OOTD #eek"
You have forgotten how to look at the camera when having your picture taken
It gives a mysterious look to your pictures, right? Plus, it hides uneven eyeliner.
You find "fashpiration" literally everywhere
You purposely buy a few more items so that you can title a post "haul"
and if you can't buy more then you add the word "mini" to the beginning of the title and all is good again.
You have holes in your jeans
Another picture from my Instagram...
because fabric that is not distressed is not fashion blogger enough
So if you don't do all these things, please kindly remove yourself from the world of fashion blogging. You can't sit with us.
Bethany Paige X
Disclaimer: I'm sure you've all realised already, but this post was written with as many doses of sarcasm as there are macaroons in the blogging world (and as we've established, that's a lot).